Wouldn't it be nice if...
In typically Canadian style, food packers have started refusing to pay for Kosher endorsement on their products.
"I'm ****ing so sick and tired of giving my meager profits to these bloodsucking mother****ers", says Loblaws CEO Bob Loblaw. "It started off as an endorsement, then a payment, then a tax. Then the ****suckers kept upping their tax. It inevitably got to the point that these greedy ****s were leaning on me to give them even more than I was making! Enough is enough. It's war now."
Bob is not alone. He's already talked to the other major food retailers and packers in Canada. They've compared numbers, and decided that any potential losses in sales by disgruntled Jews could not possibly offset the ridiculous extortionate fees they charged.
"We're going to save tens of millions", said Mr. Loblaw.
...yes, it would.
Ha ha ha! If only this were real.