Hamas Killed Six Million Jews in Gas Chambers on October 7th, BBC Hears - SATIRE

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SATIRE FROM KEVIN BARRETT      

Hamas Killed Six Million Jews in Gas Chambers on October 7th, BBC Hears
https://kevinbarrett.heresycentral.is/2023/12/hamas-killed-six-million-jews-in-gas-chambers-on-october-7th-bbc-hears/
also here:  https://www.unz.com/kbarrett/hamas-killed-six-million-jews-in-gas-chambers-on-october-7th-bbc-hears/

BBC by way of Dissociated Press

The BBC has seen and heard evidence of the murder of six million Jews in gas chambers during the 7 October Hamas attacks.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-67629181

WARNING: CONTAINS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF GAS CHAMBERS AND RELATED ATROCITIES

Several people involved in collecting and identifying the bodies of the six million Jews killed in the attack told us they had seen multiple signs of death by Zyklon B, including blue or pink skin, Auschwitz tattoos, and scribbled notes saying "is this a shower room?"

Video testimony of an eyewitness at the Nova music festival, shown to journalists by Israeli police, detailed Hamas's construction of makeshift gas chambers and its herding of six million Jews into them.

Another eyewitness has described how Hamas used the skin of the six million victims to make lampshades, which were later sold to furniture wholesalers, allegedly including PM Netanyahu's old business in Philadelphia, to finance the terror group. Opposition parties in the Israeli Parliament are calling for an investigation into Netanyahu's role in financing Hamas through the sale of Jewskin lampshades.

Though no credible eyewitnesses to the gassings have been found, that is undoubtedly because prospective witnesses were all gassed to death.

The complete lack of forensic evidence for any gassings can likewise be easily explained by Hamas's dismantling the gas chambers afterwards to cover up the crime. Additionally, the absence of six million bodies, sometimes pointed to by 10/7 deniers, has an obvious explanation: It resulted from Hamas's burying the bodies in waterlogged ground, then digging them up, burning them in ovens, and grinding the bones into dust, which was subsequently blown away by the prevailing winds.

The last moments of the six million victims are being pieced together from accounts offered by fiction writers, mental patients, and soldiers from the IDF's Propaganda and Psychological Warfare Division.

Police have privately shown journalists a single horrific testimony that they filmed of a woman who was at the Nova festival site during the attack. She has described Hamas dragging six million Jews into gas chambers, raping them all the way, cutting off their body parts, and making lampshades from their skin and custom jewelry from their bones.

One man told the BBC he heard the "noises and screams of people being murdered, raped, decapitated, and dragged into gas chambers."

To our question about how he could be sure – without seeing it – that the screams he heard indicated that the victims were being taken to gas chambers, he said he believed while listening at the time that the screams sounded so awful that only gas chambers could explain them.

Israeli police say they have "multiple" eye-witness accounts of the gassings, but wouldn't give any more clarification on how many. When we spoke to them, they hadn't yet interviewed anyone, but hoped to eventually get around to it.

Israeli sources say that Hamas's kind and chivalrous treatment of its hostages, attested to by all released hostages, is part of the terror group's sinister plan to cast doubt on its murder of six million Jews in gas chambers. "Treating hostages kindly? That's...that's Holocaust denial!" sputtered Ayelet "Little Snakes" Shaked, Israel's unofficial Minister of Genocide Propaganda.  https://www.dailysabah.com/world/mid-east/israeli-lawmakers-kill-all-palestinians-remarks-resurface

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP_wNlzNUFM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3LPyJi9yMg

Asked why nobody noticed the gassings of six million Jews for two whole months, until the UN was about to pass a resolution against Israel's genocide of Gaza, Israeli sources said that it sometimes just takes time to notice these things. They pointed out that hardly anyone noticed the Nazi Holocaust until the 1960s, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.  https://www.unz.com/ebook/holocaust-denial-ebook/

David Katz from Israel's cyber crime unit which is involved in the investigation, told journalists that it was too early to prove that the gassing of six million Jews was planned as part of the attack, but that data extracted from the phones of the Hamas attackers suggested that "everything was systematic".

"It would be reckless to say we can already prove it [...] but everything that was done there was done systematically," he said. "Nothing happened by coincidence. The gassings of six million Jews by Hamas, as part of a deliberate plan signed off on by Ismail Haniyeh to exterminate every Jew on Earth, can no longer be denied...unless you want to lose your job, go to prison, and be called nasty names."

Meanwhile, astronomers at the Hubble Space Telescope have detected a slight irregularity in Earth's orbit, which they attributed to billions of people simultaneously rolling their eyeballs.