Britney Spears' Conversion Diary

Yammitor · July 23, 2009, 10:09:12 AM

NOTE: Not actual Diary - Jewish writer made it up. It seems the jews are proud of Britney and want to claim her. Let them have her i say

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Quote"Editor's note: Britney is currently dating her agent, Jason Ashlock, who is Jewish, and rumors abound that she's pulling an Ivanka Trump and converting for him.........entire falsified diary. Yeah, you heard me. You come after Britney, now you're comin' after one of us."
http://www.jewcy.com/post/britney_spears_secret_conversion_diary

QuoteBritney's Conversion Diary
by Andy Borowitz July 27, 2009
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2009/07/27/090727sh_shouts_borowitz

Britney Spears has never been one to take things slowly when it comes to relationships. So it's no surprise she's considering converting to Judaism to show her commitment to new bloke Jason Trawick. The singer has been spotted wearing a necklace with the Star of David symbol on during her world tour. She has even recruited a rabbi to help her study the faith.
—The Sun.

Shalom, Diary:
I think Rabbi Pearlstein is really pissed at me. Today in Jewish class he was going through the Halakha, which I thought was the Jewish word for Hannah Montana but turns out to be like a whole bunch of boring laws about days of the week and pork and shit, and I was like, "Rabbi P., is there any way you could break this down into a bunch of tweets? I'll read it on my phone on the way to rehearsal." He got so mad those curls on the sides of his head started shaking. (I don't know why he won't let my stylist snip them off. They're not a good look for him, K.?) On the plus side, he taught me this awesome Jewish trivia fact: You don't have to call Jewish people "Jewish people." It turns out they don't mind being called plain old "Jews." LOL.

Shalom, Diary:
Here's how Brit sees it: When a person is converting to Judaism, he or she should totally get points for things they've done that already make them part Jewish. Like, let's say to be a Jewess you need twenty points. I think I have already earned points for the following Jewish thingies:

—Dating a hot Jew: two points. I think dating a Jew makes you partly Jewish, and the hotter the Jew the more points. Dating Jason wins me two points (tho I would get way more if I was dating that über-hot Jew in Maroon 5). Dating someone you met on JDate and basically just settled for gets you no points. (Snap!!!)

—Kissing another Jewess on TV: four points. O.K., maybe this isn't in the Torah or anything, but it is a great moment in Jewish history, and personally, as a Jew-in-training, I am very proud to have been a part of it: the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, when I kissed Madonna, who is basically even more Jewish than Rabbi Pearlstein. Madonna is so Jewish I call her Mezuzah. (LMAO, Brit!!!) This is because of all the hot Jewish boyfriends she has had over the aeons, including her latest, Jesus Luz. (Everyone knows Jesus is a Jewish name—look it up.) If you count all of Madonna's points for dating hot Jews, she would have eighty, which would make her equal to like four Jews, which must be more than there are in all of major-league baseball.

—Being persecuted: eight points. Rabbi Pearlstein goes on and on and on about how persecuted the Jews were in olden days, but, hello, did they ever have to deal with TMZ shoving a camera in their crotch every time they got out of a limo? I don't think so!!!

If you add my two points for dating a hot Jew to my four points for kissing a Jewess to my eight points for being persecuted, you get (come on, iPhone calculator) . . . fourteen Jew points!!! I should totally be able to get the other six I need by buying a Star of David toe ring.

Shalom, Diary:
Got verklempt last night with Jason when I told him how close I was to joining his tribe and all. Felt kinda guilty that my spiritual journey has been so easy, what with my already being mostly Jewish, but then Jason explained that feeling guilty just makes you Jewisher, so it's all good.

Dear Diary:
I am so over Rabbi Pearlstein!!! Here's what went down: I like went to his house to explain my awesome Jewish point system, and I'm like ringing the door-bell 4-EVAH, and then he finally comes to the door and there go his curly hairs again, and he's like, "Do you have ANY idea what DAY it is???" And I'm like, no, and he's like, "Jews aren't supposed to answer the doorbell on Saturdays." And I'm like, "Hello, isn't that the Amish?" He seriously needs to check his facts!!! Anyway, I'm donezo with this whole Jewish thing. Saturdays are my day to party, and no one, not even Yahweh or whatever, fucks with that. Note to Brit: Find new religion that Jason and I can both convert to. Maybe Hindu? I'd look amazing with one of those cute jewels in my head. ♦

Boyfriend - Jason-trawick
http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/06/britney-spears-really-dating-jason-trawick/

Wimpy · July 23, 2009, 10:59:39 AM

This Jewish conversion thing of hers happened before she "Shaved" her head. I don't have the video footage to offer but I do distinctly remember from the constant media barrage at the time, spotting a necklace around her neck that she flipped around behind her back. I noticed this because her actions seemed an obvious attempt to hide something. The camera angle went to her backside and, plain as day, there hung a rather large (approx. 2" diameter) Star of David.

http://www.hollywoodrag.com/index.php?/ ... ll2/10457/

This was Feb. 2007.

She has probably been a Crypto Jew all of her life and got her start at the Jew controlled Walt Disney Corporation.

Yammitor · July 23, 2009, 02:17:14 PM

Thanks for the link to the earlier photo of her shaved head + Rothchild hex. I didn't pay much attention to her shaved head episode. Assumed she fliped out due to being drugged up on Prozac for an extended period of time.

She could be a crypto or maybe her new jewish boyfriend could just be getting his hooks in so he can siphon of what ever money she has not managed to spent yet.

Wimpy · July 23, 2009, 02:31:54 PM

Federline, a Jew, was the father of her kid (s?)-married in 2004. Could be she converted then or, as you suggest, she could be a money mark like Nicole Simpson.

LatinAmericanview · July 23, 2009, 02:52:19 PM

Thanks Yaminator! This is hard hitting research we need at TIU. Thanks

MikeWB · July 23, 2009, 03:12:29 PM

Quote from: "Wimpy"Federline, a Jew, was the father of her kid (s?)-married in 2004. Could be she converted then or, as you suggest, she could be a money mark like Nicole Simpson.

Where the heck are you getting this from? Are you making it up? Federline is a german name and a quick search shows that the brother of her ex-husband is Christopher.

Wimpy · July 23, 2009, 04:27:54 PM

http://www.nuthinbutnews.com/archives/h ... 37261.html

Yammitor · July 23, 2009, 06:36:55 PM

Quote from: "LatinAmericanview"Thanks Yaminator! This is hard hitting research we need at TIU. Thanks

:lol: :lol: :lol: @ you LatinAmericanview

What is your problem ? Lets hear it !!! Anyone who doesn't lick your arse or challenges your BS gets childish comments directed at them, is that it ? Suppose you have been waiting for such an opportunity.

I do not pay attention to Britney so its news to me and it is the Personal Thoughts section. NO ONE is forcing you to read my posts, but please take time out from posting your news article count figures so you can continue with your witty Personal Thoughts also, as it lets me see who you really are. Only, don't take so long next time.

Do i deserve a funny star trek caption photo, go on make me a custom pic. :lol: :lol:

LatinAmericanview · July 23, 2009, 06:41:40 PM

Quote from: "Yammitor"
Quote from: "LatinAmericanview"Thanks Yaminator! This is hard hitting research we need at TIU. Thanks

:lol: :lol: :lol: @ you LatinAmericanview

What is your problem ? Lets hear it !!! Anyone who doesn't lick your arse or challenges your BS gets childish comments directed at them, is that it ? Suppose you have been waiting for such an opportunity.

I do not pay attention to Britney so its news to me and it is the Personal Thoughts section. NO ONE is forcing you to read my posts, but please take time out from posting your news article count figures so you can continue with your witty Personal Thoughts also, as it lets me see who you really are. Only, don't take so long next time.

Do i deserve a funny star trek caption photo, go on make me a custom pic. :lol: :lol:

Hey, I said great research. I look forward to your insights.

Yammitor · July 23, 2009, 07:23:13 PM

Quote from: "LatinAmericanview"Hey, I said great research. I look forward to your insights.

Grow some balls. Your motives are obvious.

Quote from: "LatinAmericanview"Yaminator!

Oh so very funny.

We can both be thankful that neither of us are admins here. Me, because I don't like the way you try to hijack threads and stifle peoples debate with your all too often used:

Quote from: "LatinAmericanview"The techinque of Tyranny is to create a lie and then have people debate the truthfulness of that lie.

This is your standard jack in the box response that you use to close down debate and control threads. :roll:
People can come her and talk about events and issues as they see fit. You say - NO doing so is idiotic because you are not debating as I want to debate. You are assuming people are debating useless information. However you don't know the facts either. By debating people will sort throught the lies and find the facts. Did you ever thing of that Big Brain.

Just incase I missed the announcment, please tell me who made you INFO COP on partol here

?

E.G. your pet Von Brumm thread : Holocaust Museum shooter James Von Brunn's ex-wife says his - nicely controlled and dominated by your pet philosophy of no debate .... Except on yout terms.

So thats my problem with you, lets hear whats really pissing you off regarding me. Take your best shot and don't hold back.
Show me your a man or just go hide behind your BS. Your choice.

LatinAmericanview · July 23, 2009, 07:29:15 PM

Lets debate?

mgt23 · July 23, 2009, 07:41:15 PM

you have to be an idiot to debate britney spears as a culturally relevant properstion pertaining to the anti-zionist movement. lets debate madonna instead....or is is amy winehouse instead

MikeWB · July 23, 2009, 07:43:22 PM

Quote from: "Wimpy"http://www.nuthinbutnews.com/archives/humanities/Is_Kevin_Federline_Jewish_10137261.html

How many Jews do u know that have name Christopher?

Yammitor · July 23, 2009, 07:59:06 PM

I am more interested in seeing how Britney is being used to control and change society.

I am interested in trying to judge if she is willing tool or completely ignorant as to how she is being used. I am interested in seeing how the Jews react to her supposed conversion. If they accept her or scorn her.
Will they boot her out in a few years or will she leave in disgust and announce some secret revelations when they have stolen all her money.

Will she be used in some kind of ritual as depicted in South Park. They do like to announce their plans in advance, The Black Dahlia comes to mind or something sick like that.

Thats about it, otherwise i find her repulsive. Madonna is more interesting and even more repulsive, the loving Kabala bitch, what is she doing ?

Yammitor · July 23, 2009, 08:04:21 PM

Quote from: "LatinAmericanview"Lets debate?

Quick do an article count. So we can begin.

LatinAmericanview · July 23, 2009, 08:09:02 PM

Pm me and we can record our debate for all of TIU to enjoy. I hope that you demonstrate the virtue following Brittany and social shenanigans. The real debate should be about Brittany does she spit or swallow?

Yammitor · July 23, 2009, 08:24:30 PM

Debate - Does Britney Spit or Swallow for her new bf.
Maybe mainstream might be interested in this show as its their area. This could be a career break for the debate winner. I think she swallows, alot, she is getting quite hefty.

If you don't want to let me know whats bugging you about me thats fine, I am not interested in making enemies here. I suspect its something to do with religion. I was just trying to bait you into revealing more but your not having any of it. I take back the jokes on article counting its a useful tool.

Please PM me info on chronology as i asked you before. I'd like hear your best arguments and get on the Fast track and bypass the disinfo.

Wimpy · July 23, 2009, 08:41:08 PM

Quote from: "MikeWB"
Quote from: "Wimpy"http://www.nuthinbutnews.com/archives/humanities/Is_Kevin_Federline_Jewish_10137261.html
How many Jews do u know that have name Christopher?

Do a little search: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Hitchens

Yes, Christopher Hitchens is Jewish. In this case an English Jew.

Anything else?

Wimpy · July 23, 2009, 09:12:22 PM

Quote from: "MikeWB"
Quote from: "Wimpy"Federline, a Jew, was the father of her kid (s?)-married in 2004. Could be she converted then or, as you suggest, she could be a money mark like Nicole Simpson.

Where the heck are you getting this from? Are you making it up? Federline is a german name and a quick search shows that the brother of her ex-husband is Christopher.

For the record MikeWB, I did see the original above post before you edited it. Your usage of cuss words was rather spurious and inapplicable, no?

Yammitor · July 23, 2009, 09:27:36 PM

I can think of Mr.Annoying puke of the month "Christopher Jon Bjerknes" he is a Jewish shillturd named Christopher.

Thankfully I don't know any / many jews. 8-)

I would think the CHRIST part of Christopher would be enough to put alot of them off naming their children that, unless they wanted their children to blend in with the goys.

Wimpy · July 23, 2009, 09:34:39 PM

"I would think the CHRIST part of Christopher would be enough to put alot of them off naming their children that, unless they wanted their children to blend in with the goys."-Yammitor

Exactly.