My Recent Flying Experience

[Wimpy]

Haven't flown in about a year and I dreaded the prospect.  I repeatedly told friends and relatives that these new TSA procedures were it, NO more flying unless critically necessary.  My announcement, sadly, turned out to be an invitation of dubious sorts.

After much anxiety over imagined scenarios and confrontations with TSA, i.e. for a possible scanning refusal or their reaction to me for innocently passing gas during an aggressive pat-down, I determined that I would just have to wait and see.  Heck, I even thought that all my musings would be for naught should I discover I'm on the dreaded no-fly list.

On Monday I began my journey with a determined fortitude.  I checked in a bag and only carried a notebook to the TSA gate area.  My ID and ticket were checked,  this time it wasn't loudly announced to the nearby world and then escorted for a thorough pat-down and chemical scan, and so I then proceeded to fill the plastic container with all of my personal belongings for an xray scan.  The process went smoothly except for a communication failure with an agent who communicated in charades due to a possible lack of speech ability.  The agent repeatedly and animatedly gestured with his left arm with pointed finger.  The finger was pointing at me and below my waist area while I had a dickens of a time gesturing back to him in this odd communication dance...OH, crap, I forgot to Take My Shoes Off!  Wow, that was a close one!

Seated on the plane was interesting in that my seat mate was a College Football coach...getting ready for a Bowl game.  He was tired and proceeded to nap.  Meanwhile, a loud conversation was taking place in the seats directly behind me.  The New York City accent and the topic of Money and Ferraris nailed it that the LOUD guy was a JEW; didn't even have to see the guy to arrive at this conclusions.  Sure enough, during the last leg of the flight, this Loud Jew starts talking about the glories of some JEW holiday and the fire in Israel.  At the end of the flight I made a point of making eye contact with the loud mouthed JEW;...he averted his eyes.

On the second leg of the journey I was seated next to a youngish woman who was a Bank Consultant; Jack Pot!  Before long she realized that I probably knew more than she about Banking and who runs the show.  I asked her opinion of QE2 and the recently released list of where QE1 (bailout) monies went (some to foreign banks).  She proudly stated that Americans don't know that many US banks are owned by foreign investors.  I shot back that that I agreed but did she know that the FED was 80% owned by European families with Rockefeller being the exception?  Deer in the headlights!  The conversation trailed off dramatically when I inquired whether she was Jewish, I mean it is a Jewish owned and run industry isn't it?  Though I didn't pass any gas her reaction was just the same.

[abduLMaria]

Though I didn't pass any gas her reaction was just the same.

well, that was your mistake right there !

good story though.   :up:

[CrackSmokeRepublican]

I shot back that that I agreed but did she know that the FED was 80% owned by European families with Rockefeller being the exception? Deer in the headlights! The conversation trailed off dramatically when I inquired whether she was Jewish, I mean it is a Jewish owned and run industry isn't it? Though I didn't pass any gas her reaction was just the same.

Great Story Wimpy! Thanks for sharing. Reminded me of a trip to Vegas a few years back. It's was like the "Kosher club Express".  

[Christopher Marlowe]

So "Wimpy" turns out to be a confrontational old cuss!  You realize that your seat companion is going to have to see a therapist to discuss this:

"And then what did he say?"
"He asked if I was...if I was..."
"If you were pregnant or just fat?"
"No!  If I was Jewish."
"Oh my God! How awful!  Do you want a Diazepam?"
"No, the last one is still stuck in my throat."
"What did you tell him?"
"Nothing. I just kind of stared out of the window, and tried to make him feel sad."
"How did that make you feel?"
"It made me think of...It made me think of..."
"9/11? Hijacking? Yentil?  "
"No.  The Holocaust."
"That was going to be my next guess.  And then what happened."
"He said that Jews dominate the banking industry."
"But don't they? I mean we?"
"Yes. But you don't say that. That's totally rude and anti-semitic."
"I agree.  That is totally uncalled for and anti-semitic."

Are you just fed up with this sh*t Wimpy? I am.  

Farting in the TSA area sounds like an idea. That sort of passive protest might really catch on: Everyone should just intentionally fart.  And it would be unstoppable.  Even if it wasn't silent, what are they going to do?  Arrest you for farting?  

"I'm sorry.  This happens whenever I get poked in the n*tz."

[Wimpy]

We're getting to be expert Jew spotters!    

The flight was due to a job interview.  The company is another Tale from the dark-side.

                                                                                     

:lol:  

[Fester]

I was considering a kilt and a big bean breakfast for my upcoming lap dance for the Total Sexual Assault crew.  Kilts are way more expensive than I'd thought.  Maybe a teeshirt:  Grope once for wood, twice for gas.

Next time you find yourself surrounded by Jews, you might want to discuss this:

Jewish Association for Business Ethics (http://www.jabe.org/)

Welcome to the Jewish Association for Business Ethics (JABE) website.  JABE's mission is to encourage the values of honesty, integrity and social responsibility by teaching the Jewish approach to business ethics.  To speak to a JABE representative, please contact us on 020-8905 4048.

They've got an upcoming seminar on Bribery - A victimless crime?  Not sure but I'll bet they're expert.

[Wimpy]

Maybe a teeshirt: Grope once for wood, twice for gas.

 

[Christopher Marlowe]

I was considering a kilt and a big bean breakfast for my upcoming lap dance for the Total Sexual Assault crew. Kilts are way more expensive than I'd thought. Maybe a teeshirt: Grope once for wood, twice for gas.

Classic. :lol:

[pas]

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[Panoptimist]

:clap: