When insults had class and refinement

[joeblow]

When insults had class and refinement

Before the current era, when English language "insults" were reduced to "four-letter words" ...

... insults had "class" and mastery ... and ... refinement.

IOW, they had "heart". Heart

If you have a favorite insult, with "class", mastery, and refinement ... Angel

... post them here!

Icon_arrow Enjoy!! ...

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The exchange between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poisoned tea."

He answered, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

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A member of Parliament to Prime Minister Disraeli:

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir", said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

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He had delusions of adequacy - Walter Kerr

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He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. - Winston Churchill

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I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow

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He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. - William Faulkner, about Ernest Hemingway

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Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadas

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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain

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He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. - Oscar Wilde

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I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend ... if you have one. - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one. - Winston Churchill, in response.

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I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here. - comedian Kip Adota

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He is a self-made man who worships his creator. - John Bright

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I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial. - Irvin S. Cobb

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He is not only dull himself. He is the cause of dullness in others. - Samuel Johnson

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He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. - Paul Keating

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In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. - Count Talleyrand

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He loves nature in spite of what it did to him. - Forrest Tucker

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Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? - Mark Twain

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His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

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Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go. - Oscar Wilde

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He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts ... for support rather than illumination. - Andrew Lang

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He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder

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I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx

[kolnidre]

So true.

I always think of the character Cyrano de Bergerac's litany of insults, among which were:

"One! There is the Insult Theatrical. Let me give you an example: O brave New World that has such noses in it!
"Two! There is the Insult Geographical: Just walking round you is like rounding Cape Horn!
"Three! The Insult Inquisitive: Does it not cause you to tilt over, monsieur, or do you wear counterweights in your boots?"
The crowd roared with laughter, while the fop roared with frustration, his lunges and parries hitting nothing but the empty air as Cyrano stepped deftly round him.
"Four! There is the Insult Punning: Where does Cyrano come to an end? Nobody nose!
"Five! The Insult Explanatory: Don't tell me! You grew it that big to keep your feet from getting sunburnt!
"Six! The Insult Medical: When you have a cold, monsieur, Belgium floods!
"Seven! The Insult Biblical: It wasn't Ararat where Noah ran aground, you know!"
By this time, the gallant had forgotten about sarcastic remarks or showing off or even fencing. He had simply begun to run, lifting his heels higher than his kneecaps as Cyrano carved him clear of the floor.
"You might have attempted Eight! The Insult Exaggeration: Have a care! When you sneeze, whole fleets sink in the Spanish Main!
"Or Nine! The Insult Unsporting: You must be the only man who can win a race by a nose before the starter has even fired his gun!
"Or Ten! The Insult Sentimental: Aaah! How kind of you, monsieur, to provide a perch for so many ickle squiwwels and birdies! "

[leigh0180]

I love those kind of insults, it still has respect and refinement in it.